Everyone grows up. Everyone grows up differently. Everyone grows up learning different lessons that shape who they become (to a certain extent). In some cases, some people need to re-learn the lessons they learned as a child in order to become the person their heart whispers to them that they truly are.
I grew up never thinking I was good enough. No matter what I did, or how well I did it, it could always be better. I fought every day for approval that did not exist.
I grew up learning to compete. To be better than the other kids my age so I could go home to parents who would be proud that I was their kid, rather than be compared to how they wished I was more like the other kids I was competing against.
I grew up, learning to be scared of the world. I was taught that people hurt other people, and no-one could be trusted.
I grew up, learning that a woman’s place was in the home. That raising children and being a wife was what women did, and what I should do. Otherwise, I was going to be a “snobby business woman”.
I grew up, experiencing trauma every day. Physically and emotionally.
I grew up, with no self esteem. I was bullied both at home, and at school. My sense of self, was non-existant. I did not know who I was or who I was meant to be outside the four walls I lived in.
I grew up, with my voice being silenced and learning to be completely dependant on the two people who hurt me the most.
I grew up, learning that fighting back and forming my own opinions was met with more control placed onto me, disownment and rejection.
As I grew into the woman I am today, I dedicated years to healing and re-wiring my brain to unlearn all the lessons I had learned as a child.
I re-learned that I was important, valued, beautiful, intelligent, witty, a fighter, a surviver, resourceful, well-spoken and loveable.
Then I started traveling on my own – and I learned so much more.
Traveling on my own, made me realize how strong I was. How even after years of being beaten down, I was strong enough to go to a country I had never been to and experience all that was out there for me to experience.
I learned that even though I did not know the language, I could learn how to communicate with those around me and get from point a to point b.
I learned that I was likeable. That I could make friends – despite years of being told otherwise, and despite years of friendships falling apart or being non-existant.
I learned that I could rely on myself in a healthy way. I learned I could rely on others in a healthy way as well.
I learned that the world was full of possibilities. That I did not need to live life inside a box. I didn’t need to become a mom if I didn’t want to be or a stay at home wife. I didn’t have put my dreams on hold to have a wedding. I wouldn’t need to stop travelling if I had children one day. I could be in a relationship, but not dedicate the entirety of my life to that individual. I could be on my own, but also with someone. I could be in a relationship with someone who supports my dreams, rather than someone who would try to control them.
I learned what I loved, and what kind of life I wanted to live. I learned what made my heart happy.
I learned that sometimes, you just have to do things you are afraid of. Otherwise, you will spend your life wishing you weren’t afraid.
I learned to change me “one days” to “I’m going to”. I learned to set timelines and goals.
I learned that just because I was lonely at times, it did not mean I needed to go home.
I learned that I wasn’t scared of the world around me anymore.
Traveling taught me that I have power in my life – to change the direction of where I am going at any time – even though it may not feel like that at times.
Traveling taught me I could be free and in control – two things I never was the first half of my life.
I could spread my wings that had been bound for so long…because there was a world out there calling to my heart to learn even more about myself and what more I could do.