We’ve all been there.
That moment where someone says or thinks something that is not completely true – and they blame you, when all else around them seems hopeless. Maybe, because blaming you is the only hope they have left.
Whether it is a client, a friend, or in this particular case – a biological mother – it feels frustrating, hurtful, bewildering, angering and frankly a bit “Are you kidding me?”.
In order to blame someone – you need to in some part, truly believe that they are the individual to blame for a situation (usually a negative one); or, have it be convenient to do so.
In order for you to be blamed in a situation that you know not to be true – your gut reaction is to defend. You defend your stance, your involvement or maybe, you respond by blaming someone else.
But see, none of these things really solve the issue – because in many cases, people blame others because in their reality, they believe that individual is the one to blame.
Reality is a funny thing.
When you think of it, every person in this entire world experiences every day in an entirely different way – despite it being the exact same day.
We cannot alter ones reality – we can only shed light into what other realities may exist – leaving the critical thinking to the other individual to question whether their reality may truly be true – and whether you are really the one to blame.
If, in someones reality, you are the one to blame for a situation you know in your heart you are not to be blamed – you need not to defend – but to acknowledge that you may never alter their reality. And, as such, you cannot take ownership for the blame or the weight of their reality onto your shoulders.
You need to be able to let go of their reality – if they choose not to.
It is their reality – not yours in which you are blamed –
And there are many other realities of many other people in many other parts of the world in which you are not.